How much sleep does your child really need?
The amount of sleep children need between the toddler years and school age can change quite drastically, with toddlers often still needing a nap but dropping this around the preschool years. Between the toddler years and school, the range of sleep needs is from 9-14 hours which is a lot!
This graphic shows a rough average of how much sleep a child needs at different stages of their lives. This definitely isn't meant to panic anyone or add to the mum guilt, but just a good guide to save for future if you ever need it!
What if my child is getting a lot less than the average?
If a child is sleeping a lot less than the expected averages, either because they’re going to bed late at night or they’re waking very early in the morning, my first suggestion would be to bring bedtime earlier for at least a week to see if that helps.
Parents are often a bit reluctant to try this and tell me that their little one still has lots of energy when they try to put them down earlier, but this is often because they have had a second wind (caused by a surge of adrenaline) and they'll now struggle to settle again for a while. Aiming for a bedtime between 7 and 8 is usually ideal for kids between 3 and 6 and helps to avoid hitting that over-tired, second wind phase.
It can take time for the change in bedtime to make a difference, as their body clock will be used to going to bed later, and there can also be a build-up of over-tiredness, so try it over a week or more to see if it has an impact. We did it recently with our 3 year old and it took 4 days to take effect. I was ready to give up at day 3 but knew I should take my own advice, so I know how frustrating it can be to wait it out when something doesn’t seem to be working!
I’ve tried an earlier bedtime but that didn’t work
If you are seeing mornings getting earlier, or bedtimes becoming trickier, then it could mean they actually need a later bedtime, but in most of my work with clients, an early bedtime is always the one I try first.
Also, if your toddler is still napping, it’s worth keeping an eye on whether capping the nap helps bring bedtime earlier as all toddlers will need this capping at different times. The nap is usually gone by about age 4 but some children will drop it a lot earlier and others later.
If your child is still chatting away for hours after you put them to sleep, you may need to look at whether their sleep needs have changed. For example, if your child is 5 years old and they always slept 12 hours but now they're waking early or taking a while to go to sleep, it might just be that they now need less sleep and you need to push bedtime back a little bit. Use the table to see average age specific expectations and see if pushing bedtime back by 15-30 minutes might help them settle better.
My child is going to bed so much later, and they just refuse to go down earlier
If your child is going to sleep A LOT later than you think they should, you may need to try bedtime fading to get you back on track. This article explains this process in more detail.
Final note
The important thing to note, is that sleep quality is just as important as sleep quantity - so if your child is waking multiple times in the night then it might be worth looking at ways you can aim to get them some better quality sleep. My Bedtime Battles and Night Wakes Guide is a great guide to getting sleep back on track and has 50% off with the code SUMMER50 at the moment!