Is your child’s bedtime a lot later than you’d like? Try bedtime fading to gently shift their sleep schedule earlier.
Is your toddler or child awake much later in the evening than you would like? I have worked with plenty of families that were happy with their children staying up late as it meant they lay in the next morning, giving everyone a relaxed start to the day. However, once school time hit, this routine was no longer possible and everyone in the family was feeling stressed and shattered and grumpy.
If this situation resonates with you, then bedtime fading could be the key to helping you achieve a much more reasonable bedtime.
What is bedtime fading?
Bedtime fading is a process of gradually shifting your child’s bedtime slightly earlier each night until you reach your desired bedtime. It’s ideal for children who need bedtime moving a lot earlier than they are currently falling asleep as it helps to slowly shift their whole body clock over a number of days or weeks.
As it is a very gradual process compared to just shifting it totally all in one go, you should see a lot less kick back which makes it a fairly stress free process.
How to implement bedtime fading
1. Assess your child’s current sleep schedule: First take a note of your child’s current wake and sleep times for a few days to find out on average what time they seem to fall asleep and wake up.
2. Work out your ideal bedtime: Use this average sleep needs table to note how much sleep your child should be getting on average. Some children have lower sleep needs, and some have higher, so factor in which you think your child is. Then work out what time they realistically need to get up in the morning for school or activities. Work back from there with the ideal amount of sleep your child needs to determine their ideal bedtime.
For example, if your child is 5 years old, they need between 10-13 hours of sleep on average. If you determine your child needs about 11 hours and they need to get up at 7am for school, their ideal bedtime would be 8pm.
You’ll also want to think about your family routines – you’ll struggle to aim for a 7pm bedtime if you’re only back from clubs at 6pm and still need to fit in dinner. So, make it a realistic target. It can always be shifted earlier if your child still seems tired and you decide you need to prioritise sleep over clubs for a while.
3. Create a relaxing bedtime routine: Once you have worked out your child’s ideal bedtime, you need to work on making sure you have a consistent calming routine that takes around 45 minutes each evening. If you’re struggling with getting the bedtime routine down to this time, I have a good article here you may find helpful.
At the beginning of starting sleep fading, you’ll start the bedtime routine about an hour before the time they usually fall asleep (you would hopefully have determined this in step 1). This means they should be in bed with the lights out 15 minutes before they usually fall asleep. So, for example, if your child is falling asleep on average around 10pm, you’d aim to start the bedtime routine at 9pm so they were in bed with the lights out at 9.45 and falling asleep at 10pm.
4. Set a small, gradual change: Once you’ve got them falling asleep within 15 minutes of the end of the routine, shift the bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier. So, with the example above, you’d now start the bedtime routine at 8.45. Do this for a couple of nights and then shift bedtime earlier by 15 minutes again every couple of nights until you get to your desired bedtime.
What if my child is in bed early but they take a long time to go to sleep?
If your child is going to sleep a lot later than you’d like because they’re messing around or fighting bedtime, then I would first work on making the bedtime routine more consistent and calm. My Bedtime Battles and Night wakes guide can be helpful for implementing this.
Set the room up for success
The summer months can make children fall asleep later than expected as the lighter evenings can mess with their circadian rhythm. Sticking black bin liners to the window with painter’s tape can be really helpful in blocking out some of the late evening and early morning sun to improve sleepiness. If you’d like something a bit more permanent, then I can highly recommend these two options for black out blinds Gro blinds and Bloc Blinds.
During the summer months, the heat can also cause children to struggle to fall asleep as easily. We tend to sleep best in temperatures between 16-18 degrees which is often a lot cooler than we expect. It’s hard to achieve in the summer, but keeping blinds closed and windows open as much as possible in the day can be helpful in cooling the room. Also, wearing cotton pyjamas and light bedding can be helpful.
If you have a busy house or live on a noisy street, the sound can prevent children from falling asleep easily. Therefore, using white noise in their room can be helpful to block out background sounds. There are many white noise tracks on streaming sites which can be played through a phone or Bluetooth speaker. If you’d like something more permanent, this is a great white noise machine that we have used for years in our house.
I’ve tried this but my child is still going to sleep a lot later than I’d like
If you’ve tried all the steps above but you’re still not having any success. Please feel free to get in touch and we can discuss ways that I could help get to the bottom of what’s going on.